Smiling.........

    

   Monday I was white knuckling it to Grand Rapids for yet another doctor appointment.  The roads were awful and the sun was shining so bright.  I woke up really early that morning and could not fall back asleep.  I lay in bed and I started thinking about our journey that we have been on for the past two and a half years.  While thinking, I teared up, I chuckled, I smiled, and I reminisced.  I continued my reminiscing while I was driving to my appointment.  My fears and anxiety started to crumble like the ice under the tires of my car. I started feeling excited and ready for what the week has in store for me.  I found myself smiling from ear to ear while gripping the steering wheel for dear life!!! 

    When I arrived safe and sound to my appointment I was greeted with a big hug from my IVF nurse. My nurse is usually always super friendly, but I have never been greeted with a hug.  As she hugged me she said, “Are you excited? This is your big week!!” I thought to myself…..”I don’t know??? Am I supposed to be excited?” The past week has been full of crazy emotions. I knew I felt chipper at that moment, so I just went with it.  I mean who doesn’t like driving in a horrible snow storm, an hour and a half each way, just to get some blood work and to spread my legs open for the umpteenth time for my doctor?!?!?! Ha!!  The nurse took me to my room where I proceeded to get undressed and I covered myself so nicely with the lovely starched sheet that they graciously lay out for me each time.  While I was sitting on the crunchy cold white paper, with my feet in the wonderful stir-ups, waiting in the room for the doctor to come in I couldn’t help but smile. Once again, I am not sure why I was smiling from ear to ear, but I was.  My wonderful doctor came in and greeted me with a big smile and then walked around to the side of my bed and he too gave me a hug. He looked at me and said, “This is your week. We are so excited for you.” As he started my exam I couldn’t help the tears that were gushing down my cheek.  I think for the first time I shed happy tears at my appointment.  My doctor asked me if I was all right and I replied, “Yes.” I explained that in the past week I had gone through every emotion possible. I was nervous, excited, scared, anxious, depressed, happy, etc. But on this day I only had one, excited!  With the help of my nurses, doctors, and staff I felt excited. Yes, I still have fears, but I am excited for what this week has to offer. After my exam I quickly got dressed and went in to speak with the doctor.  He greeted me with yet another hug and I told him how much I appreciated all the support that him and his staff had given me over the years. The appointment went very well and I am right on track for my retrieval of my eggs on Friday.

    As I was driving home, the sun peered over the trees and I just said, “Thank you” to God for putting the right people in my life at the right time.  Thank you for surrounding me with people that encourage and uplift me just when I need it. 

I cast my cares on You Lord (right now!). [I Peter 5:7]