My Husband, My Friend, My Love, My Rock

"Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide, but I love you, until the end of time......."

I am going to dedicate this entry to my husband, Chad.  He has been our family rock. He has supported and taken care of me when I was at my lowest of low and he has also been there to celebrate and laugh during our high moments of this journey.  When I married him, I knew I had married the man of my dreams. Over the past seven years of marriage he has always treated me like his princess.  I am not saying we have not had our hard moments, because we are normal people with normal marriage problems.  The difference with Chad, is that he works so hard at providing and making things perfect for Kaylee and I.  He does not give up during hard times.

When we went through our first miscarriage he just hugged me for three days straight. I don’t think he let me go.  He was hurting just as bad as I was. His pain was the emotional pain while I was going through the physical and emotional pain of the loss.  His strength and courage continued to become stronger as our journey became harder and harder.  He gets so worried about me and how I am feeling.  I have seen my husband grow in ways I never thought I would see. 

I love how my husband gets so worried about me when I have to begin my routine daily shots.  I love how he just goes with the flow when my hormone shots make me turn into something he didn’t marry!!!!!  I love that he tried to help me with my first round of shots and at the end he turned gang-green (my hubby does not do well with shots). I love how he just knows when I need a hug . I love how tells me it is okay to cry even though we both don’t know why I am balling like a baby.  I love how he speaks up at the doctor’s office and tells the doctor that the medicine is making his loving wife turn into a different kind of creature.  I love how he leaves me alone and lets me have alone time because he knows if he tries to talk to me I will either cry or turn into that creature again!!!  I love how we can sit in a doctors appointment and he nods and shakes his head in agreement and then when we get into the car he turns to me and says, “I did not understand one thing the doctor just explained to us.!!!” I love his love for not giving up and encouraging me to not give up too.  I love how he gets embarrassed when the doctors ask me to spread my legs for the millionth time (I just love that he cares that someone else is looking at his wife). I love how he goes to and never misses any of the important doctor’s appointments.  I love how we can laugh and act like twelve -year old immature kids.

When I have cried and cried about how I am unable to give him another child, he just holds me and says he is blessed with what God has already given him.  I am suppose to be able to give my husband the family that he wants and when doctors tell me different it makes me feel inadequate and not worthy of his love.  Those or all my thoughts…..Chad has never once made me feel that way. In fact, he tells me I am completely nuts when I tell him that is how I feel. 

Research shows that couples that suffer from infertility have the highest percentage of marital problems.  We are determined to not be part of that percentage.  We work so hard at communicating with each other on how we feel about the different procedures that we go through. We cry and we listen to one another and we respect each other’s opinions.  Like I stated before, we are not perfect.  We do argue, we do disagree on issues, but we have learned that it is more important for us to be in this journey TOGETHER than to walk it alone.

Bottom line I would not have been able to go through this journey without Chad by my side.  He has taken our wedding vows, “for better or for worse”, and he has done just that. He has lived up to his word and I could not have asked for anything better.  I love you Chad Stephen Martin and I could not imagine my life without you. Thank you for always standing by me and supporting me.  You truly are amazing!!!

One last reason why I love him……after every doctor appointment he always treats me to pancakes at IHOP :)