“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. You shine all the time, Angel, and in these dark times, your inner beauty will continue to illuminate around you. Know that when it seems the world can't get any darker and you don't have the strength to shine your light, let those who love you shine for you and show you the way again."
This was part of a letter that I received from my wonderful mom. Her daily prayers and phone calls have been uplifting to my soul. She has taught me how to find my inner strength and to hold onto my faith. I love you mom!!
This week has been a long hard week. My shots have increased (four a day) and my body is starting to feel the effects of everything. My stomach is so bloated (because of all the growing follicles) that I have resorted to wearing leggings and anything else with an elastic waist. Some of the medication has really made me nauseas and super tired. One of the medications is instant nausea and tiredness. As soon as I take the needle out of my stomach I am pretty much on the couch and sleeping. The trips to Grand Rapids every other day have also not been the easiest. I am not complaining, just explaining!!
Another side effect from my medicine has been weird dreams. I haven’t been able to have a good night sleep since I started my shots. I have been having very scary realistic dreams. Some of them so bad that I wake up in a cold sweat, trembling, and terrified. It has been really hard for me to be away from Chad and Kaylee, because I am afraid that these dreams will come true. Chad has been so great (as well as Kaylee). The other day I was having one of my moments and I just went in and lay with Kaylee in her bed and watched her sleep. There is something about a sleeping child that can make everything okay (especially when it is my beautiful child).
I think the hardest part of this week has been the realization of everything that is taking place. I know my last blog entry was about emotions, so I don’t want to touch to much on that again, but it is hard not to. The anxiety, excitement, stress, and nervousness of all of this is beyond words. I (we) are getting very excited, but with that same amount of excitement we are extremely nervous about this procedure failing. Failing has never been apart of my vocabulary.
The past two days the sun has been shinning so bright and it has really made our spirits much happier. We have taken some walks, bike rides, and have just enjoyed some family time. I cannot express how much we appreciate all of the outpouring love and support. The cards, emails, texts, and hugs have all been so encouraging.
No comments:
Post a Comment