National Infertility Awareness Week

1 in 8 women and men are diagnosed with infertility. RESOLVE and the infertility community are busting myths and telling truths about the most popular public myths and misconceptions about the disease of infertility and the different ways people build their families.

Today I wanted to share what I think the world needs to know about infertility.  I am proud to say that my husband and I struggled. It is nothing to be ashamed of and we have come to learn that this is the path for us.  I have been working with our Fertility Center and I am hoping this summer to join them when they do their seminars about their procedures.  I am very passionate about sharing our family story. I feel very strongly about edcuating the world on the TRUE facts about infertility. 
If I could tell the world about infertility I would tell them . . .

1. Infertility is a disease.  A terrifying diagnosis that is only given to you once you have suffered for months.  Imagine going to the doctor’s and being diagnosed with diabetes and then people telling you to just stop thinking about it or trying to treat it and it will go away?!  Doesn’t sound feasible right?  Exactly.
2. This isn’t just about an adorable baby. Infertility affects a couple’s desire to have a family- raise children who can make snow angels, go off to middle school, graduate from college.  The dream doesn’t stop at just “getting” pregnant. Their vision of the future and their hopes and dreams that they have shared with each other for years lie in the balance. 
3. Saying nothing hurts worse than saying the wrong thing.  Don’t distance yourself from those going through infertility.  We infertiles don’t expect you to know the right thing to say or do.  We just need your love and support.  A kind ear, a hug.  When you pull away from those you love because you don’t understand their struggle you are jeopardizing a friendship. This is one of the most intense experiences one will ever have, and a true friend stands by.
4. The world is not infertile friendly.  We are overwhelmed by commercials, reality tv shows, and magazine articles that promise the public an inside look into the world of pregnancy- a world we only dream of.  Entertainment magazines are showing us the latest “baby bump” or highlighting the latest adoption or surrogacy success.  The reality is that many of us can not afford what these celebrities can (go ahead an look up the price of adoption, or surrogacy, or even IVF).  Moral here is we can’t escape it.  On our loneliest days an EPT commercial will play between segments of 16 and pregnant just as a reminder of what we can’t accomplish.
5. We are always searching for the reason. We are always searching for a way out.  Not a day goes by where we don’t question  if what we are doing/not doing could be the reason for our infertility.  Could it be the caffeine?  Should I take a multivitamin supplement?  Is God punishing me? Should I have never gone on the pill? Should I stop exercising? It is a game of what ifs and why nots- with no answers.
6. Infertility is not just relegated to the bedroom.  Yes, our sex lives are turned upside down by infertility, but infertility impacts all areas of someones’ life.  Physically, emotionally, financially.  Relationships are tested.  Personal faith is tested.  Your professional life is impacted.  It becomes a daily struggle to NOT let infertility rule your life.  We spend just as much energy trying to get beyond infertility as we doing trying to forget about infertility so we can function with some normalcy.  Any infertile will tell you, its exhausting.
7. Failure becomes an option. For many infertiles we spend years accomplishing the goals we have in life.  We work hard to get into the college or  secure the job we want.  We work hard at building great relationships.  We set goals and despite bumps in the road, we are always told that hard work pays off.  Our self-esteem soars when we are able to put our heart and soul into something and then reap the rewards of reaching a goal.  Then comes infertility.  All of a sudden hard work, diligence, dedication, desire, aren’t enough.  Who we are as women (and men), our identity, our self-worth, is in the balance.  Some of us, for the first times in our lives, are failing, and failing and failing and failing.  Every 28 days.
8. Infertility hurts.  The raw emotions, the physical side effects, the anxiety and worry. Those around us feel helpless. We feel helpless.  We are on a roller coaster that many of us are unwilling to get off of until are dreams are fulfilled.
9. Infertility isn’t life threatening but life altering.  Infertility changes us.  It makes us stronger, wiser, kinder, and much more appreciative of what we do have in our lives.  It makes us bolder and braver than we could ever imagine.  We are changed by this experience.  Our lives and the lives of those around us are altered by this fight to have what so many get so easily.  Our perspective on what it means to be a mother/father will forever be changed.  This is a good thing.
10. Help us gather hope.  Support anyone you know who struggles with infertility in any way you know how.  Share your experiences with others.  Share your laughter.  Never go silent about the struggle of infertility.  ALL of us are responsible for shedding light on infertility so that we can offer hope and opportunity for families in the future.  Speak up, speak out, and offer up prayers and hope.

Let this week be a week of celebration.  Let us celebrate those who have found their way out of this struggle and are on their way to their dreams.  Let us celebrate those family and friends who willingly walking down this road with us.  Let us celebrate that infertility is part of us but does not define us.  Let us celebrate that we have each other, we have hope, we have love, and we are holding on tightly to our dreams.